Area of life
Singleness and dating
Whole in Christ, whether single, dating or waiting.
God might be speaking to you here if
- you feel your life will only start once you are with someone
- you are tempted to lower your standards just to not be alone
- a relationship is pulling you away from God
- you compare yourself with friends who are getting married
What this is
Being single is not a waiting room. Jesus was single, and Paul says singleness can free you to serve God wholeheartedly. Your worth doesn't depend on a relationship.
Wanting to marry is good, and God cares about it. Christian dating means looking for someone who loves Jesus, keeping sex for marriage, and treating them as a brother or sister first.
Loneliness is real, and God takes it seriously. He places the lonely in families, and the church is meant to be that family.
My verses
Whom have I in heaven but You? And on earth I desire no one besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
I want you to be free from concern. The unmarried man is concerned about the work of the Lord, how he can please the Lord. But the married man is concerned about the affairs of this world, how he can please his wife, and his interests are divided. The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the work of the Lord, how she can be holy in both body and spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world, how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but in order to promote proper decorum and undivided devotion to the Lord.
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership can righteousness have with wickedness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?
For it is God’s will that you should be holy: You must abstain from sexual immorality; each of you must know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in lustful passion like the Gentiles who do not know God.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.
O daughters of Jerusalem, I adjure you by the gazelles and does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until the time is right.
God settles the lonely in families; He leads the prisoners out to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a sun-scorched land.
Where to next
- Write down your non-negotiablesList three or four things that matter most in a future spouse, starting with faith. Decide before feelings do.
- Set physical boundaries earlyAgree with your date on what you will and won't do before you're alone. Tell a friend so they can ask.
- Invest in your church familyJoin a small group or serve on a team. Have people over for meals. Build friendships that don't depend on romance.
- Use this season on purposeAsk God what you can do now that would be harder later: serve, travel, study, mentor. Start one.
- Talk honestly about lonelinessTell a friend or mentor how you really feel about being single, and pray together.
What grows here
Pray
Lord, You know the desires of my heart. Help me find my worth in You, not in a relationship. Keep me pure, use this season, and lead me in Your timing.